Walking down the road

It is the rain of my soul and poured when the storm raging in my mind. When feelings and logics are tangle between right or wrong and win or lose. They are raising many funny questions and silly confusions along the line. These all are happening because I'm walking down the road I choose.

My Photo
Name:
Location: Paris van Java, West Java, Indonesia

I was born in Bandung, April 1976, and spent most of my education time in that same city. Living in a cool town with a moderate muslim family, somehow become important factors that carving my character. I'm a big fan of any satay, pempek and rujak (anything sweet-lah), and I created this notes as a place where I can write everything that crossed my mind. This writing is more like a journal, footsteps I leave behind as reminder mostly for myself and probably for my descendants. If you, readers, able learning one or two good things from this notes, that was really more than my expectation. Yet if I wrote something wrong or you have different opinion from mine, please let me know, will you? You also have to excuse me for that matter because I'm aware I'm no writer at all.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Are we really like that?

Are you really like doing that?
scolding people with your words?
are you truly like doing that?
hurting other people feelings...
but then I also did the same thing,
conciously or not I did the same thing.
am I? is it true?
I like the feeling to treat people like that?
Are you? is it real?
I like to trampling people by my words?
then I'm very sad,
cause we hate each other,
then I'm really sad,
cause I know that not what we meant,
then I'm really very sad,
cause we miss so many beautifull things,
then I'm really really very sad,
cause we're able to think such thing,
are we really like that?
wished we can know each other well...

Friday, July 29, 2005

Ahh... Tanah Priangan

Bubuy Bulan
NN

Bubuy bulan,
Bubuy bulan sangray bentang,
panon poe,
panon poe disasate,

Unggal bulan,
unggal bulan abdi teang,
Unggal poe,
unggal poe oge hade,

Situ Ciburuy laukna hese dipancing,
Nyeredet hate ningali ngamplak caina,
Duh, eta saha nu ngalangkung unggal enjing,
Nyeredet hate ningali sorot socana

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Sekarang adalah waktunya

Manusia itu memang mahluk yang bodoh sekali,
diberi akal dan pikiran supaya pintar dan berani,
tapi sebodoh-bodohnya manusia yakni,
manusia yang hanya berpikir tanpa solusi dan aksi,
tanpa pengalaman dan informasi,
terjebak dalam situasi yang saling bertali.

percuma menjadi orang pintar,
tanpa pernah berkata apa-apa,
percuma menjadi orang bijaksana,
tanpa pernah merasakan apa-apa,
percuma menjadi orang baik,
tanpa pernah melakukan apa-apa.

Untuk apa memikirkan masa depan,
jika memang itu gelap gulita,
Untuk apa memikirkan cinta,
jika belum pernah jatuh cinta,
Untuk apa memikirkan jodoh kita,
jika kita tidak tahu siapa dia.

Untuk apa susah-susah memikirkan semua hal ini?
kalau semuanya memang tidak pernah pasti,
Untuk apa susah-susah memikirkan hal yang tidak diketahui?
buang hari, jam dan detik tanpa arti,
masalah-masalah akan selalu datang pada saat ini,
saat ini pula kita harus beraksi.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Butiran waktu

Satu persatu, kuuntai butiran waktu,
yang jatuh berserakan didalam kalbu,
mengambil masa depan dan masa lalu,
melihat saat ini dalam satu garis lurus,
dan aku tertawa dan aku tersenyum,
dan aku menangis dan aku tersentuh,
hidup ini memang indah dan lucu,
gelombang dari berbagai tutur,
dan kembali aku terhibur,
melihat masa lalu yang tertutup,
dan aku kembali terhibur,
melihat masa depan yang berkabut,
tanpa cahaya Illahi aku akan terpuruk,
dan aku bersyukur pada-Mu,
berbaik hati padaku,
disetiap butiran waktu yang ku sentuh.

Janjiku pada sang pejuang

Dengan hidup yang tak seberapa,
mereka rela gadaikan jiwa dan raga,
demi kebanggaan, demi satu nama,
mengharumkan Indonesia,
salutku untukmu wahai pejuang bangsa,
dimana dikau berada, hormatku selalu bersama,
telah ku tulis dalam dadaku, semua yang ada,
untuk ingatkan aku selalu, satu saat...
bila aku berdiri tegak disana,
sang pembela negara,
takkan ku biarkan jatuh dihadapan.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

do I grow up?

Falling love, thousands feelings, broken heart, one feeling,
so now I felt a thousand and one feelings,
each time will be the same, yet questions are different,
for the first is what and what?
for the second are when and where?
for the third are why and how?
do I grow up after all those?
am I chasing a mirage? a fata morgana on dessert of life?
where is the spring water to quench my thirst?
which way should I take? do I take the right direction?
more questions with no answer, many thoughts with no solutions,
do I grow up in loving someone?
I wish I do... If not, tell me please...
cause I wanna learn... to love...

Friday, July 22, 2005

an Outcast

Cut from the rest, ignored from the whole,
being controled without free mind,
deceptions which lash me thousands times,
and I see them through these naive eyes,
cause those all my fault...
and I dont blame anyone...
but please... say nothing...
your words cannot reach me again,
they just clouds my mind,
cause I knew the meaning,
your action says enough to me,
cause your body wont lie to me,
and I understand the feelings,
I've been there before, I knew those too well,
Thank you.... and good bye
again I'm alone to be...
an outcast to be.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Don't fall in Love...

Copacabana
by Barry Manilow

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha
And while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar
Across a crowded floor, they worked from 8 till 4

They were young and they had each other
Who could ask for more?

###Chorus###

At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana (Copacabana)
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana
Music and passion were always the fashion

###End of chorus###

At the Copa....they fell in love

(Copa Copacabanaaaa......)

His name was Rico, he wore a diamond
He was escorted to his chair, he saw Lola dancin' there
And when she finished, he called her over
But Rico went a bit too far, Tony sailed across the bar
And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two
There was blood and a single gun shot
But just who shot who?

###Back to Chorus###

At the Copa....she lost her love

(Copa. . Copacabana)
(Copa Copacabana) (Copacabana, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Copa Copacabana)
(Talking Havana have a banana)
(Music and passion...always the fash--shun)

Her name is Lola, she was a showgirl
But that was 30 years ago, when they used to have a show
Now it's a disco, but not for Lola
Still in the dress she used to wear, faded feathers in her hair
She sits there so refined, and drinks herself half-blind
She lost her youth and she lost her Tony
Now she's lost her mind!

###Back to Chorus###

At the Copa....don't fall in love

(Copa) don't fall in love
Copacabana...
Copacabana...

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

I just don't care anymore

Everything, something or anything,
everyone, someone or anyone,
happiness, sorrow and anger,
love, hate and affection,
family, friends and community,
control, power, and money,

I DO NOT CARE AT ALL!!!

today I'm free,
I try to be reasonable and nice,
and all I got are humiliations,
so.... today....

I DO NOT CARE AT ALL!!!

I was lived by myself before,
I trusted everyone with my soul,
but they all two faces bastard,
Lies and deceptions are all I saw, so...

I DO NOT CARE AT ALL!!!

The choice is all set,
the decision is already made,
if you all think I am weak, then...
This is the last of all you see me here!

Thank you, sorry and good bye,
I'll kept all my promises,
before and after,
so forget everything...!!!

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Warning!

Look, I'm a reasonable man,
I hear, I think and I speak,
freely, no string attached,
I'll be nice if you do the same,
I'll be good if you do the same,
but for those who stands...
in between me and my dreams,
corrupting me...,
inside and outside,
I'll crushed you into pieces!
and I always make my words true!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Heh...song of my life (with couple revision of course :P)

You're beautifull
James Blunt


My life is brilliant....

My life is brilliant, my love is pure.
I saw an angel, of that I'm sure.

She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose on, sleep on that,
'cause I've got a plan.

### Chorus ###

You're beautiful, you're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw you face in a crowded place,
and I don't know what to do,
'cause I'll never be with you.

###End of Chorus###

yeah, she caught my eye, as we walked on by,
she could see from my face that I was,
fucking high!
and I don't think that I'll see her again,
but we shared a moment that will last till the end.

# Back to chorus #

Lalalala......Lalalala......Lalalala......

you're beautiful, you're beautiful.
you're beautiful, it's true.

there must be an angel, with a smile on her face,
when she thought up that I should be with you.
but it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you....

.......

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Rocks! ...(silent)...

A hard thing...
can be used to hurt other thing,
but very usefull, I'm not joking, really,
when you used it accordingly.
millions of crystals compacted inside,
glued by nature, formed by fire,
magnificent being core of this soil,
created by god without any foil,
you know what? it sound like us too...
human, perfect living being so true...
well I just make this up,
to feel and follow up,
without any positive thinking,
so the rhyme will be matching,
just ignore me then, when I make no sense,
cause I just a man with thousands chance,
and I will do it because I can,
nothing is impossible because I can,
the face you see is not who I am,
no need to give a damn,
to see my face, you need to see underneath,
cause the real me is hidden beneath,
is it? or it's all in the surface?
where everything is there to be embrace?
Hihihi... I won't tell you at all
cause rocks keep silent when someone call...

Thursday, July 07, 2005

I want to love you

I want to love in this life, passionately...,
like the waterflow of waterfall to be,
neverending force of life naturally,
for everything, until it reach the sea.
so I'll die with smile and ectasy,
knowing that you're live happily,
though my body burn to ashes
and my heart tear into pieces,
for you and only you that I loved,
til an angel take my soul oh, my beloved,
never I'll lament for everything,
nor cried for clinging to something
for be in love to you,
for you and only you...
but I cannot...
so sorry I cannot,
so good bye and good bye,
for everything you say...

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Confuse? naah...

I always wanted to get it right,
but somehow I always make it wrong,
would it could be worse if I quiet?
so I should said somethin then?
but maybe it would be worse anyway?
Should I do something or not?
but every time I did something,
it always get worse and worse,
nothing I did make it better,
I did learned and adapt to it,
but it was just my curse,
and others people's luck,
if that so, then so be it,
cause it'll only means
I got nothing to loose,
cause I know, it will always,
geting worse each time I did somethin...
a poor soul? please don't pity me,
cause it will only make things better,
I'm not as nice as you all think,
forget those ideas....
for me and everything around,
so why am I confused anyway?

I'm really glad

The cloud was coming,
I rushed my pace,
the rain was falling,
I didn't wanna get wet,
but I really like it,
the smell of poured rain,
so I stopped and felt it,
the rain on my face,
the coldness its droplets,
and I was really glad,
cause I can felt it,
the happiness inside me,
tickle me, moved me,
make me laugh,
make me happy,
ohh... how beautiful,
how beautiful that day was...
and I'm really glad,
cause I can still remember
that feeling inside me....

Monday, July 04, 2005

Bits by bits

Shattered my heart should be,
for every drop of time passed by,
thinking of you, and you only,
that's a fact though I don't know why,
do you think I wanted to fall down?
letting go my pride at any cost,
winning? losing? I never think for my own,
cause I knew I already lost,
at that time I realize that I like you...

Shattered my heart should be,
for every time I reach for you,
and never once you see,
cause you think I wasn't for you,
will you accepted me if I change?
shaping everything from beginning,
but I think that will be really strange,
cause me is me, not singer who's singing,
every song everybody want to hear,
so every one will like him to appear...

Shattered my heart should be,
if you like me out of pity,
for the sand is almost empty,
and not because me is me,

Shattered my heart will be....
bits by bits....

Sunday, July 03, 2005

A concert today? Nahh... just my heart.....

Shiver
by ColdPlay

So I looked in your direction,
but you paid me no attention, do you?
I know you don`t listen to me,
`cause you say you see straight through me, don`t you?

#Chorus#
On and on, from the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep,
I`ll be there by your side, just you try and stop me,
I`ll be waiting in line, just to see if you care, if you care...

Did she want me to change? But I change for good,
and I want you to know, but you always get your way,
I wanted to say........

Don't you shiver?
Shiver......, Shiver.......,
I'll always be waiting for you,

#end of chorus#

So you know how much I need ya,
but you never even see me, do you?
and this is my final chance of getting you.

#Back to Chorus#

I'll always be waiting for you...
I'll always be waiting for you...
I'll always be waiting for you...

Yeah I`ll always be waiting for you.

and it`s you I see, but you don`t see me.
and it`s you I hear, so loud and clear.
I sing it loud and clear,
and I`ll always be waiting for you,.

So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention,
and you know how much I need you,
but you never even seen me.......

"to someone special...."

Changing moment

Yesterday, I plant a seed,
today, it grows beatifully,
tomorrow, what it'll become,
I don't know.
things will never be the same,
changing, growing and dying,
when? and how?,
ask yourself a right question,
for it'll lead, to the right answer,
a moment is just too precious,
hold on to it, take it as yours,
be selfish and arrogant, you'll need it,
be brave and fearless, it won't distinguish any,
before it change, before it pass away,
you see my friend...
everyone know this, yet...
not many understand its meaning,
be happy for everything...