Open minded

"...we, nowdays can be considerer as open-minded generation, with those high tolerance we have to others, which can accepted any existance of others who don't share similarity with ourself. Cross cultural and religion relationship which is happening now days is the prove, but when it comes to our close relatives, there is no such thing as open-minded..."

Once I got advice from a friend, she told me that the first basis of a relationship was simply a similarity of vision and mission in life, so without those similarity, just forget everything. (...The hell to those? What a crap, and what are 'vision' and 'mission' anyway?) Oh yes...!, that what crossed in my mind at that time. 'cause I know, woman are looking for sense of security and comfortability when it comes to a relationship. And my thinking was proven to be true when she, the one who told me these stuff, had a boyfriend, which comes from different culture and religion, a foreigner. (...such a hipocrit! what about your 'vission and mission' thinging, when it's so obvious that he had different religion...) This is the one thing crossed in my mind when I heard the news. Then I had a chance somewhat after that, meeting her. When I asked about these, her answer was, "...I liked him and I... I'm faling love...".

And... heard those words, I knew I cannot blame her. And somehow I felt sorry for her. As a person who've been in every places of 'love cycle' before (...except 'to ditched someone' phase...) I understand that nothing can be blamed for this mistake (... probably the destiny.... and that perverted guy!...). After that all I can do as her good friend was being supportive for every decision she made, and give her advise when she needed (...though they're not really counted 'cause I'm suck at this realtionship thinging, I mean just look at me! single...at thirty!)

But her problems not just lie on herselves but also with her family. Coming from well respected and religious family, her mom, dad, brother and sisters, somehow 'rejected' the idea of her had a marrieage to this guy. At first, I thought this are strange, considering there are few of her cousins had these 'crossed married', and she told me before, how her family was very supportive to her cousins when the married took place. But then if I put myself in their position, somewhat I understand a little.(...I was imagining my sister had these crossed married, and I didn't like the picture at all!... except, probably for their babies which somehow should be really cute... :P).

Really, marriage in this country is not just between those individuals, but also between the families. To maintain 'good' lineage, honor, wealth and every halo effect to themselves, subconciously(sometimes conciously), it is the family who'll choose to whom we'll get married. (...I know, this is suck, but you won't aware that you're being 'controlled', and so do I...).

I guess (in this case...) there is no thing such as open-minded when it comes to your family. Well... I just hope she got an exit point for her problems (... and I also hoping the same for me.... sigh...)